Too Late
by Hawkeye0165
Summary: Winry discovers Edward died in a rebellion. She comes to terms with her feelings for him, but things aren't always as they seem...Is he really dead? EdWin, R & R please!
1. What's lost is forever gone

**Too Late**

_**A/N 11/12/06:** Hey! Well I know I should be working on Reveries of Truth right now, but I had this idea and needed to write it down! This was originally supposed to be a oneshot, but I decided to make it into several chapters. So enjoy and tell me what you think!! _

_**A/N 11/13/06:** Repost...why? Because I can! Plus, repostmore comments!! (hopefully)_

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When Winry had strolled into Central Headquarters earlier that morning she didn't know the reason she was called there, how could she? But out of all the possibilities that had played through her mind, this had not been one of them.

It had seemed strange upon entering the building why people she had passed in the hall had avoided eye contact, the familiar faces giving her looks of sympathy before quickly removing themselves from her presence. But now she understood.

Riza Hawkeye's soft and barely audible words rang continuously in her mind, "I'm sorry Winry, but Edward is dead."

Upon hearing that phrase she had stared in shock before crumbling to the ground, her trembling legs no longer able to support her. She couldn't even cry right away, she was too overwhelmed by the unbelievable concept.

Edward was invincible; there was no way he could die. It felt as if her heart had stopped beating in her chest and she was seized by panic. Her mechanic's instincts kicked in as she searched for the facts.

"But…how? Wh-what happened?" Riza opened her mouth several times, unsure of how to go about this touchy subject.

Winry tried to keep her shaking words steady, but was unsuccessful as she asked again, louder and filled with more hysteria this time, "What happened to Edward??"

She didn't wait for a reply, her voice rose shrilly as she screamed, "WHERE'S EDWARD??"

She was now a forlorn wailing mass of confusion at Riza's feet as she sobbed uncontrollably, her slim shoulders heaving with the effort. The older women slowly bent down until she was on the floor with Winry and enveloped her in an awkward embrace, tightening the contact as the girl cried harder.

She didn't know how long it had been; it could have been minutes, or even hours before the mechanic had bawled herself into exhaustion.

Winry quietly asked, "Please-what happened?" Her face was coated with a glaze of constantly flowing tears, and she made no attempt to wipe them away.

Riza took a deep breath, regretting the story she was about to tell, knowing it would only cause the young girl more pain and suffering. In her concise and straight-to-the-point way, she began.

"He had been on an undercover mission helping to quell a rebellion in the east along with several other troops. Everything was going smoothly and negotiations were being made in a peaceful manner until things got out of hand one night. Some of the rebels started a fire, sending the town and the military encampment into a panic. The citizens were in a mass hysteria, and they began attacking and shooting at the soldiers who were trying to help them put out the large fire. While aiding civilians in escaping from a burning building, Edward was shot by one of the rebels. The wound wasn't fatal, but it slowed down his movement and the structurally weak building collapsed, killing everyone that was inside. His death was confirmed by witnesses at the scene."

As Riza finished, her usually controlled emotionless expression wavered as her eyes began to tear up slightly. She fiercely blinked away the approaching wetness. Now was not a time to get emotional about things.

"I'm so sorry, Winry." Was all she could manage to say.

They sat quietly, Riza comforting the girl as best as she could.

Winry was still in denial, the fact that her childhood friend was no longer alive was too much for her to bear. When so many things in her life had gone wrong, Ed was always there. Even though his own life was a disaster, he managed to remain strong. His mother had died, he had lost his limbs and his brother's body, and so many unsettling events had occurred to him while working for the military, but like a tree in a violent wind, he bent with the strong gusts that came his way instead of breaking.

He was the one thing she had always been able to count on; she had always known he would be there. But now he was gone.

The idea just seemed so alien, the fact that a person could exist one moment, and then be gone the next. There were so many things she had wanted to share with him, so many thoughts left unsaid.

She had always thought that there would be time to discuss these things, that they would have all the time in the world together.

And now he was gone.

Gone. The dull word resonated throughout her brain, mocking her suffering.

"Miss Hawkeye…" she hesitated, choking back another sob, "I-I think I loved him."

Riza smiled sadly at this declaration.

"I know."

Winry looked surprised.

"We all knew. Everyone was just waiting for the two of _you_ to figure it out."

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_A/N: Soooo how was it? If I get enough comments on this I'll continue with it. So share what you thought! Criticism welcome, just provide reasonable arguments, not flat-out flaming. Thanks!_


	2. Looks may be deceiving

_**A/N 11/22/06: **Wow, another chapter completed! Sorry for all the angsty-ness, but I was trying to show how Winry would feel if this actually happened. And the next chapter should be good so please stay tuned!! And remember, don't lose hope. ;) That's all I'm gonna say for now.__Thanks to everyone that reviewed so far! Enjoy!_

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Winry opened her eyes slowly, disoriented and confused by her surroundings. She was lying on a bed covered by a heavy blanket in a small room with minimal furniture.

The curtains were pulled tightly shut, darkening the room. She would have thought it was night if it weren't for the thin beam of weak light that escaped from the crack between them.

How did she get here?

Suddenly she was overwhelmed by the intense wave of pain and recollection that swept across her as she remembered the events of the day before.

Edward was dead. He would never be coming back.

She didn't even care where she was at this point; nothing mattered anymore now that he was gone.

She buried her face in the soft pillow as involuntary tears surged from her eyes, soaking the fabric. How could this happen? She wept uncontrollably, letting go of all her inhibitions and giving the savage tornado of emotions free reign. She felt an untamed rage. How had he let himself be killed? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Hadn't he promised her he would be strong? That he would stay safe? That he would come back for her and they'd be a family again? He promised her that the next time he'd make her cry; it'd be out of joy.

Liar. She thought vehemently. He broke his promises and shattered her world.

He wouldn't come for her; not now, not ever.

She wasn't truly angry, especially not with him- that was only a front. If she was mad then it meant she wasn't sad. She wanted so much to be furious, to hate him for it, but her weak shield broke and she was once again wracked with sorrow and grief.

The sobbing was coming harder now, making it difficult to breathe. She couldn't see any more as the wetness clouded her vision.

Winry curled into a tight ball under the blankets, wallowing in her anguish and despair.

And then she knew no more.

* * *

When she pried her eyes open once again, the light coming in through the curtains was brighter. She must have fallen asleep crying.

For now, she was feeling numb, devoid of any emotion. Because emotion meant pain. And she didn't want to feel any more pain.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she climbed out of the creaking bed. Reluctantly she walked towards the mirror on the far side of the room to examine her probably shocking appearance.

The horrifying face staring back through the glass mimicked her expression of revulsion.

Winry was a disaster. The usually silky blonde hair that tumbled gracefully past her shoulders was matted and tangled, stuck in clumps to her scalp. Her face and eyes were swollen and red from crying. She traced her cheek bone with a pale shaking finger, wincing at the tenderness of her raw skin.

No matter where she was, she couldn't leave the room looking like this, her pride wouldn't allow her.

There was a filled water basin on the dresser, so the young woman used the cool refreshing liquid to clean her tear-stained face. Once she was satisfied with the improved result, she looked around, discovering a comb lying conveniently nearby. Smoothing the comb through her knotted hair was a difficult task, but she looked and felt much better when it was completed.

Glancing at her reflection again, she resembled more her usual self although her eyes were still somewhat swollen. But no amount of scrubbing or primping would make her _feel_ like her old self, she knew that.

Nothing could replace the ever present heartache and sorrow.

Trying to distract herself from the painful thoughts, Winry noticed a change of clothes draped across a chair by the door. The clothes were unfamiliar and slightly baggy, but they would do; anything to escape from the rumpled and dirty outfit she was currently wearing.

She gratefully changed into the modest ensemble and examined herself in the mirror once more. At least she looked presentable now.

Heaving a depressed sigh, Winry turned the doorknob and stepped out of the room. She was in an unfamiliar apartment.

With hesitation, she called out, "Hello? Is anyone there?"

Her voice echoed in the empty space.

She heard a familiar woman's voice around the corner.

"Over here, Winry."

Following the sound she emerged into a kitchen. Seated at the table with a cup of steaming coffee was Riza Hawkeye.

The woman was in civilian clothes; a simple shirt and skirt, but feminine and flattering on her all the same. Her usually swept up golden hair was cascading to her shoulders.

"How did you sleep?" She smiled warily, afraid to upset the fragile girl, concern audible in her voice.

"Not very well." Winry replied with a quiet honesty. "How long have I been here?"

Riza shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "You were brought here yesterday afternoon. I'm sorry, but we had to sedate you. You were frantic, and we thought you might try to hurt yourself."

She watched carefully, waiting to gage the girl's reaction.

"Thanks. It was probably a good idea." Winry admitted, recalling her panic and hysteria of the day before.

Even though the pain and shock were still fresh, at least now she could think somewhat clearly about it. She had spent almost all her time since hearing the news either crying or sleeping so now she was ready to be level-headed. She had always been a determined and intelligent girl, always focused on the goal ahead; always trying to be the best person she could be, to be strong-like Ed.

So for now she would resist the temptation to curl up into a ball and weep. Only in her solitude would she revel in her misery; behind closed doors. She wanted to appear brave and capable, like Miss Hawkeye.

And if Ed could no longer be there with her, then she would have to be strong for the both of them.

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_A/N: How was it? Take 20 seconds out of your day to review and make me happy! The more you review, the more I'll write!_


	3. The house of the waiting family

_**A/N 11/29/06: **Hey all! I was on a roll with this one and couldn't stop writing! Again, sorry for the extreme angsty-ness but that's how I think Winry would react. But it'll get better, don't worry. Especially after this chapter! Hehe. evil grin Anyway, please review and let me know what you think! And thanks for the awesome reviewers that have shared their opinions so far! I really appreciate it you guys!! Enjoy(and just so no one gets confused, the section of the story in italics is a flashback)._

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**Chapter 3**

Winry mentally smacked herself in the forehead. How selfish could she be? In her own grief she had forgotten about Al, not pausing to think about what he must be going through.

If this was hell for her it must be 100 times worse for him. She couldn't let herself focus on her own pain anymore; she needed to do all she could for the brother that was still alive. She let out a large sigh and paused, frozen over the empty suitcase waiting to be filled.

The suffering was easier to bear if she didn't think about _him_ too much. Hearing his name alone opened the floodgates and sent a cruel wave of anguish crashing through her body, making it difficult to breathe.

During the day she found masking her agony wasn't as difficult as she thought it would be as long as she stayed busy, but night was a completely different story. When she was lying in bed in the dark, alone with only her thoughts there was no stopping their savage brutality. Her own mind taunted her, replaying painfully warm and happy memories of their childhood together. There was nothing she could do to stop it but wait for the peaceful release of sleep to claim her.

When she slept, she felt nothing. She didn't even dream anymore.

Even though she could ignore the dull throb at times, there was a massive painful hole in her chest that would never go away. It was a place that never could be filled, just an empty aching void to remind her of her loss.

Love, which was supposed to be carefree and blissful, had turned into something mocking and bitter for her, just finally when she had begun to accept her long suppressed feelings, he had been taken away. But she shouldn't dwell on that now, she couldn't. She had to stay in control, for her sake and for Al's sake. And if not thinking about _him_ was the solution, then that's what she would have to do.

Shaking her head slightly, Winry let the silky tendrils of hair caress her face as she tried to concentrate on packing again. Her mind once again drifted to the conversation with Riza from last night.

* * *

_It was time to ask the questions that had been lingering in her mind. As difficult as it was for her to talk about, it was necessary._

"_How long ago did this happen?" She began, awkwardly stumbling over the words._

_Riza's careful gaze was expressionless. "About two weeks ago."_

_Winry gasped. "Two weeks??"_

_That was such a long time. How could something of this magnitude happen without her knowing? As close as they had been, wouldn't she know that something was wrong with him; wouldn't she somehow be able to sense it? _

"_We were unable to reach you and left word in Rush Valley with that man you were apprenticing for."_

_Winry vaguely recalled coming back from her short vacation with Paninya to discover that her presence was required in Central. She didn't know what exactly it was for, but she had never imagined the shock that had awaited her. Was it only several days ago that she was carefree in Rush Valley? Things sure change fast._

"_It didn't seem kind to convey that sort of news over the phone." Riza concluded._

"_And Alphonse? Granny? What about them?"_

"_The colonel went to Risembool himself to deliver the message. He felt personally responsible."_

_Although the next question was not something she wanted to ask, it was something she needed to, if only to help with her personal grief. Her words were soft but clear._

"_There's no doubt that he's dead?"_

_Riza cringed slightly at the inquiry._

"_No. People saw the building collapse with Edward inside it, and no one made it out alive. After the fire had been put out... there wasn't much left."_

_Winry understood the crude implications underneath the gentle words. Edward had been suffocated and burned to death, blazed to a crisp until nothing remained. She sat in silence for a moment. Riza hastily tried to hurry on with the conversation, worrying about the images that were going through the young girl's head._

"_There was one thing left though... his red coat. He had given it to one of the civilians for protection from the heat while he was helping out. It was returned afterwards and will be sent back to Risembool for the memorial service."_

"_Memorial service?" She tried to distract herself from the dreadful scenes that played through her head of _him_ dying as tears threatened to leak out._

"_Yes," Riza confirmed. "It will take place in two days. I will escort you there tomorrow morning, so you may want to pack soon."_

_Winry abruptly stood up, no longer in the mood for asking questions, her drive and determination vanished._

"_I-I'll be...packing then." She sputtered as she rushed out of the room so Riza wouldn't see the tears that were now running down her face._

"_If…if you need to talk, I'm here." Riza's voice was full of concern and doubt, not used to dealing with the emotions of teenage girls._

_Instead of packing, Winry had collapsed on her bed weeping. As had become an unwelcome habit, she cried herself into exhaustion and finally sleep, thoughts full of cherished memories. _

* * *

Looking at the clock, Winry accelerated her folding. They were supposed to leave in 20 minutes to board their train at the station.

Once everything was neatly secured in her suitcase, she stepped out of the room that had become her haven for the past few days, a place of refuge where she could release her emotions in private.

Riza was waiting patiently near the door to the apartment, her face shifting into a sad smile at the sight of the mechanic. She knew how hard Winry had been trying to control her emotions, to hold back the tears. But the walls of the apartment were thin, and Winry's hopeless muted sobbing at night left little to the imagination. Of course Winry was unaware of that, but neither would bring it up.

The two women had just managed to catch the train in time thanks to Riza's agile navigation through the crowded station. She had purposefully and nimbly zigzagged through the heavy foot traffic, nearly managing to lose Winry several times in the process. But they were on the train now, and there was nothing to break the monotony of the several hour long ride to Risembool.

As she listened to the constant dull thumping of the wheels rotating on the tracks, Winry began to feel tired. The rumble was like a soothing lullaby, luring her into sleep.

"Winry." The words were distant, far off and echoing, not coherently lodging themselves into her brain.

"Winry." It was repeated, this time along with a gentle prod. She groaned and squinted as she opened her eyes slightly. Riza was hovering above her.

"We're here."

Winry sat up quickly and glanced out the window. Sure enough, they were pulled into the Risembool station. She gathered her belongings and followed Riza off of the engine and onto the small platform. The familiar vast green hills surrounded them and while she was distraught at her reason for returning home, she was still glad to be back nonetheless. The landscape of Rush Valley couldn't be more different and she had been homesick.

A running car was waiting for them at the end of the platform. Winry couldn't see who the driver was, but recognized the familiar military uniform. As they drew near, she was surprised to see that the driver was none other than Colonel Roy Mustang. Riza looked just as surprised at the revelation.

"Sir? But I thought you were in Central?" She asked, confused.

"I was, but I returned here earlier than planned. Get in."

Riza tried to protest, she was accustomed to chauffeuring him around, but her arguments fell on deaf ears. He was just as stubborn as she was, if not more. She silently climbed into the back seat after Winry, admitting defeat.

The air in the car was thick with tension, the mood almost tangible. The three were very solemn, all thinking about their purpose for being in Risembool. Finally, Winry broke the strained silence.

"How are Granny and Al doing?"

Mustang paused before answering, the creases in his forehead visible in the rear-view mirror.

"…as expected. They're both very distressed but are dealing with it."

She couldn't think of anything to say after that so they continued to drive in quiet. Eventually they pulled up to her familiar house. It was just as she had seen it last, although she had grown up the house had refused to age. She climbed out of the vehicle and slammed the door shut, permeating the noiseless atmosphere.

As the trio trudged up the path to the house, Mustang in front, Winry in the middle and Riza behind her, the Colonel paused. He turned to the two women and speaking to his subordinate said,

"Lieutenant, why don't you take Miss Rockbell's luggage to the house, I'd like to speak with her for a moment."

"Yes, sir." They locked eyes and a knowing look passed between them before Riza broke the contact and continued up the path to the house, Winry's suitcase in tow.

Winry was curious now. What did he want to speak with her about? Surely this wasn't his attempt to "talk about her feelings" as Riza had already failed miserably at? The only people she needed right now were her waiting family. She gave him a polite but cold smile.

"Is there something you wanted to discuss?"

"Yes…And I'm sorry to spring this on you suddenly, but there's really no easy way for me to say this… Ed left something for you."

Winry immediately stiffened and when she didn't reply, he continued.

"You see, often in the military if a soldier is about to embark on a particularly dangerous mission he will write letters to his loved ones...in case he doesn't return. Sort of as a farewell."

He reached into his coat pocket and produced a thin envelope. Winry released an involuntary gasp as the realization hit her.

"This was found in his coat pocket. It's addressed to you, and I thought I should give it to you in private before you see your family."

He held the letter in his outstretched hand, waiting for her to take it. With trembling fingers she grasped the cool paper. On the front was simply scrawled, "Winry" in _his_ uneven handwriting. The back was sealed with a military insignia.

"Th-thank you." She managed to stutter as she clutched the precious envelope tightly to her chest. She didn't even know what to think at this point, overwhelmed by the possibilities of what the letter contained.

Mustang gave her a small forced smile that didn't quite extend to his eyes.

"I'm sorry for your loss." He said quietly as he turned and walked towards the house.

Winry was still standing there with the letter held to her chest, eyes wide and heart beating wildly. She knew she needed to open the letter, but not here. Someplace more confidential.

She wandered aimlessly away from the property, not really going anywhere specific, just trying to get away. Before she knew it her feet had led her along the familiar path to where Ed and Al's house used to stand. How fitting. She sighed as she leaned against a tree, slowly letting herself slide down the rough bark.

What would the letter contain? Winry had no idea. She almost didn't want to open it, because once she did it would become reality and she would no longer be able to fantasize about his last words to her. Whatever was in his writing was final.

With a deep breath and a silent prayer, she ripped the envelope open, tearing the military seal in half.

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_**A/N:** Soooo how was it? Take 20 seconds to let me know! If you liked it, review; if not I'll assume you didn't._


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